Vaginismus Counselling in Glasgow and Online
Vaginismus can make vaginal penetration painful, difficult or feel completely impossible. You may want penetration, feel emotionally ready and trust your partner, yet find that your body tightens automatically.
This can be confusing and upsetting. You might feel that your body is working against you or worry that you are disappointing a partner. You may also have difficulty using tampons, attending cervical screening or undergoing a medical examination.
Nightingale Marriage Counselling offers confidential psychosexual counselling for people affected by vaginismus, fear of penetration and related relationship difficulties. Appointments are available in Glasgow, with online counselling also available where appropriate.
Psychosexual counselling can help you explore anxiety, fear, shame, past experiences, sexual expectations and the effect vaginismus is having on your life or relationships. It may form one part of a wider treatment plan alongside medical care or specialist pelvic-health physiotherapy.
Contact us for Vaginismus counselling today.
Call 0141 353 9373 or complete our confidential enquiry form to arrange an appointment.
What is vaginismus?
Vaginismus is an automatic tightening of the muscles around the vagina when penetration is attempted or anticipated. This response is involuntary—it is not something you are deliberately doing. The reaction may happen with:
- Penetrative sexual activity
- A finger
- A tampon or menstrual product
- A vaginal trainer
- Cervical screening
- A gynaecological examination
- A medical procedure
- Fertility investigations or treatment
Some people can tolerate certain forms of penetration but not others. Others find that any attempted insertion feels impossible. Vaginismus can occur even when you feel desire, experience arousal or want penetration. It does not mean that you do not love or feel attracted to your partner.
Common experiences of vaginismus
Vaginismus varies considerably between individuals.
Penetration feels impossible
You may feel as though there is a barrier or that your vagina is closed. Attempts at penetration may stop despite wanting to continue.
Penetration is possible but painful
Some people can tolerate limited penetration but experience burning, stinging, pressure or significant discomfort.
Pain during penetration can have several possible causes. A medical assessment is important so that conditions such as infection, vulvodynia, hormonal changes, endometriosis or other sources of pelvic pain can be considered.
Your body tightens automatically
You may notice your legs, abdomen, buttocks or pelvic muscles tightening when penetration is mentioned or attempted. You might hold your breath, pull away or feel panicked.
Tampons are difficult or impossible to use
Difficulty using tampons can sometimes be an early indication of vaginismus. You may feel embarrassed because other people appear to find tampon use straightforward.
Cervical screening or medical examinations feel impossible
You may avoid cervical screening because you fear pain, feel unable to tolerate a speculum or have previously experienced an unsuccessful or distressing examination.
This should never be treated as a personal failure. You can tell the healthcare professional about your concerns before an examination and discuss what adjustments or alternatives may be available.
Penetration has never been possible
When the difficulty has existed from the first attempted penetration, it is sometimes described as lifelong or primary vaginismus.
Vaginismus developed later
Some people previously experienced comfortable penetration but later developed vaginismus. This is sometimes described as acquired or secondary vaginismus.
- A painful sexual experience
- Infection or recurring discomfort
- Childbirth
- Surgery or medical treatment
- A difficult examination
- Menopause or hormonal changes
- Sexual trauma
- Relationship difficulties
- A period of stress or anxiety
- An extended period without sexual activity
The reason is not always immediately clear, and there may be more than one contributing factor.
What causes vaginismus?
There is no single cause of vaginismus. Physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, cultural and relationship factors may all contribute.
The NHS notes that possible contributors include anxiety about sex, painful sexual experiences, sexual trauma, difficult medical examinations, childbirth experiences and physical conditions that cause pain. The cause is not always clear. Vaginismus is not your fault. Counselling should not begin with an assumption about what caused it.
The fear, tension and pain cycle
Vaginismus can involve a protective cycle:
- You expect penetration to be painful or impossible.
- Your body becomes anxious and tense.
- The pelvic muscles tighten automatically.
- Penetration becomes painful or cannot happen.
- The experience confirms your fear.
- Anxiety increases before the next attempt.
Repeatedly attempting penetration despite pain can strengthen this cycle. You may begin to fear not only penetration but also affection that might lead to a sexual expectation. Counselling can help you understand the cycle, reduce shame and develop a greater sense of choice and safety.
How counselling may help
Psychosexual therapy is recognised by the NHS as one possible treatment approach for vaginismus. Treatment may also involve relaxation work, pelvic-floor support and gradual work with vaginal trainers under suitable professional guidance.
Nightingale should only claim to provide specific physical exercises or trainer programmes if the practitioner has the appropriate specialist training and this genuinely forms part of the service.
Take the First Step with Vaginismus
People of different genders may have a vagina and experience vaginismus. Nightingale should provide inclusive support without making assumptions about gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship structure or the sexual activity someone wants.
Counselling is confidential within the ethical, professional and legal limits explained before therapy begins. You do not need to describe intimate details when making your initial enquiry.
Nightingale offers affair counselling in Glasgow, as well as online vaginismus counselling throughout the UK. Call 0141 353 9373 or complete our confidential enquiry form to ask about an appointment.
Vaginismus Counselling FAQs
What does vaginismus feel like?
Some people describe burning, stinging, tightness or the feeling of reaching a barrier. Others experience an automatic closing or tightening response that makes penetration impossible. Symptoms vary and should be medically assessed where appropriate.
Is vaginismus voluntary?
No. The muscle response associated with vaginismus is involuntary. Someone may want penetration and feel emotionally willing but still experience automatic tightening.
Can vaginismus affect tampon use and cervical screening?
Yes. Some people experience difficulty inserting tampons or tolerating cervical screening, gynaecological examinations and medical procedures involving vaginal insertion.
Can I have vaginismus if penetration is sometimes possible?
Yes. Vaginismus does not affect everybody in exactly the same way. Some people cannot tolerate any penetration, while others can tolerate particular forms or experience pain rather than complete prevention.
Can counselling cure vaginismus?
Counselling cannot guarantee a cure. Psychosexual therapy may help address fear, anxiety, shame, sexual expectations and relationship factors. Other support may include medical assessment and specialist pelvic-health physiotherapy.
Do I need to see my GP?
It is sensible to speak to your GP or another appropriate healthcare professional, particularly if penetration is painful, symptoms are persistent or you have bleeding, discharge, skin changes or other unexplained symptoms. This can help identify or rule out physical causes.
Does vaginismus mean I was sexually abused?
No. Sexual trauma can be relevant for some people, but many people with vaginismus have not experienced abuse. A therapist should never assume that trauma occurred.
Can vaginismus develop after previously comfortable sex?
Yes. Vaginismus can develop following pain, infection, childbirth, surgery, medical procedures, menopause, trauma, relationship changes or other experiences. Sometimes the reason is unclear.
Can vaginismus affect fertility?
Vaginismus does not necessarily affect biological fertility, but it can make penetrative sex, examinations or fertility procedures difficult. Medical and fertility questions should be discussed with an appropriate healthcare professional.
Can my partner attend counselling?
Yes, if couples sessions are appropriate and you both agree. Joint counselling can help reduce pressure, improve communication and develop intimacy that does not centre entirely on penetration.
Will I be examined during psychosexual counselling?
No. Psychosexual counselling is talking therapy. There should be no undressing, sexual contact or physical examination during counselling sessions.
Will I be asked to use vaginal trainers?
Vaginal trainers may be recommended as part of treatment by suitably qualified professionals, but they are not compulsory and should be introduced gradually with informed consent and appropriate guidance.
Can vaginismus counselling take place online?
Online counselling may be available depending on your needs, location and the suitability of remote therapy. Contact Nightingale to discuss available options.
Is counselling confidential?
Yes, within the professional, ethical and legal limits explained before counselling begins. You do not have to provide detailed sexual information on the initial contact form.
Online Counselling
Providing you with the tools you need to take the next step.
Technology is rapidly changing the ways we can interact with each other, and counselling is no exception. This
service can be provided upon request. For the below options you will need broadband/internet connection and
somewhere quiet and private you can speak without being overheard or interrupted. Your Counsellor will agree with
you what happens should the technology fail, but in all other respects the counselling relationship will be the same
as a ‘face to face’ one. The Counsellor will speak to you from a private room …
0141 353 9373
Mon-Fri 08.00 – 21.00
Sat 09.00 – 17.00
(out of hours at discretion of Counsellor)
5 La Belle Place,
Glasgow, G3 7LH
The Prince & Princess of Wales Hospice,
20 Dumbreck Rd,
Glasgow, G41 5BW