Blended / Step Families
Stepfamilies and how to survive them takes time, patience, understanding and compromise.
If these relationships hit an issue, they are usually highly charged situations with a heightened state of emotion which brings feelings that often take you by surprise.
If you are willing to put in the work, then the situation can get easier.
If you have come together as a newly formed couple after a separation, divorce or bereavement, and bring children into your relationship, you can experience a roller coaster of emotions. It may be a bumpy ride! Whether you are the parent or step-parent, raising children in a blended family can be hard work. We see parents being manipulated and worn down but also being too harsh and defensive. If you are struggling with how your partner is parenting, or if you want to find a way of being a stronger team in a newly formed family, family mediation can really help to smooth the transition.
Children / Step Families
- Different opinions on parenting
- Child misbehaving and acting out
- Children manipulating the birth parent
- Rude behaviour towards the stepparent
- Ex partners with loose boundaries
- Anger, frustration and disappointment
Do not criticise the stepchild or the parent
Take it slow; very, very small steps is the only way to build the foundation on which the relationship can grow. Friendship is the first relationship you are looking to achieve with a child. When a third party is introduced to a new couple relationship often the child has to deal with the disappointment that the birth parents are not getting back together for whatever reason. You are often seen as the interloper intruder, even the enemy. What we need you to be, is an ally. Sounds like a battle ground? Believe me, it can be.
The intervention of family mediation here will really help you understand the family dynamics at play and allow you to plan your way forward with the children. There are many reasons why the couple relationship can be compromised in a stepfamily situation.
Family mediation will help you to understand the family dynamic. It will also help you define your role and the relationship you want with a stepchild or young adult moving forward. Introduction of very firm boundaries need to be agreed upon and the plan of action on how you move forward also needs to be agreed. There’s no point in arguing about the situation as there is no right or wrong here, just new circumstances to understand and accept. Just because you love the child’s Mum or Dad, it is not a pre-requisite that you will love each other’s children. Or that your children will love your new partner.
Five years into my second marriage, my husband and I were struggling with our relationship and the challenges of step-children. Luckily for us, our eventual frustration led us to Florence. From that first meeting, I felt a sense of confidence in her and in the process of counselling. Through Florence, we learnt to listen to each other, be honest about ourselves and find compromises.
Online Counselling
Providing you with the tools you need to take the next step.
Technology is rapidly changing the ways we can interact with each other, and counselling is no exception. This
service can be provided upon request. For the below options you will need broadband/internet connection and
somewhere quiet and private you can speak without being overheard or interrupted. Your Counsellor will agree with
you what happens should the technology fail, but in all other respects the counselling relationship will be the same
as a ‘face to face’ one. The Counsellor will speak to you from a private room …
0141 353 9373
Mon-Fri 08.00 – 21.00
Sat 09.00 – 17.00
(out of hours at discretion of Counsellor)
5 La Belle Place,
Glasgow, G3 7LH
The Prince & Princess of Wales Hospice,
20 Dumbreck Rd,
Glasgow, G41 5BW