Affairs
When Infidelity is discovered in a couple relationship there is no doubt it causes extreme pain and shock.
We will require time and patience, as we journey on the rollercoaster of emotions you will both experience.
Often, we see couples soon after an affair has been discovered and emotions are running very high. The disclosure often takes a relationship into a crisis. Often partners want to know every detail; dates, times, what was said, who said what, when did they meet, what were they doing at the time? All these questions come into play and when they do, it is best to be truthful. If any lies are told at this point, trust with be affected all over again. However, if you are the one asking the questions, make sure you are prepared for the pain some of these answers can cause.
This is the difficult part of the process. We will require time and patience as we ride the rollercoaster of emotions you will both experience. When we get past this stage, we can move on to acknowledge the nature of the affair. This is significant as affairs fall into different types of categories.
Types of Affairs
The Serial Adulterer
Uses affairs to boost the ego or self-esteem. Some personal work is often required here to enable the adulterer to look at the underlying issues that drive them to have to feed the ego in such an extreme way. They will typically not want to lose their couple relationship or their family unit.
The Rabbit Caught in the Headlights
Is an affair that happens out of the blue and it usually takes the adulterer completely by surprise. The thought of an affair had never crossed their mind before and they are often chased by a predatory individual who is excited by the challenge. When the affair or one-night-stand is discovered they will be ashamed and shocked by their behaviour and never want to engage with the third party again.
Sex Addiction
The term “sexual addiction” is used to describe any sexual activity that feels ‘out of control’. Being sexually addicted is feeling that you are engaging in a sexual activity that you can no longer control. Sex addiction has risen sharply over the last decade, with recent research suggesting that this is largely due to the large number of explicit pornographic sites which are easily accessible on the internet.
Nightingale Couple Counsellors
The couples counsellor brings their experience to work through the various stages of a process which helps the recovery for both parties involved.
The couples counsellor will remain neutral and help the couple to get an understanding of why the affair happened. There are various reasons why affairs happen, exploring them in couples counselling will help you to understand them.
Relationships can survive infidelity and often a better and stronger relationship can emerge.
I have always been someone who has been open to counselling - although never ever thought I’d need it. After finding out my partner had been unfaithful for a number of years, we went to counselling with the hope that we could understand why it happened and how to improve our relationship after this. The support we got from Nightingale was more than I could ever have imagined. From the very start, our couple counsellor was very supportive in helping us explore and identify difficulties in an open, comfortable and non-judgemental environment. She was able to support and direct us in communicating effectively with each other and manage stressful situations.
Online Counselling
Providing you with the tools you need to take the next step.
Technology is rapidly changing the ways we can interact with each other, and counselling is no exception. This
service can be provided upon request. For the below options you will need broadband/internet connection and
somewhere quiet and private you can speak without being overheard or interrupted. Your Counsellor will agree with
you what happens should the technology fail, but in all other respects the counselling relationship will be the same
as a ‘face to face’ one. The Counsellor will speak to you from a private room …
0141 353 9373
Mon-Fri 08.00 – 21.00
Sat 09.00 – 17.00
(out of hours at discretion of Counsellor)
5 La Belle Place,
Glasgow, G3 7LH
The Prince & Princess of Wales Hospice,
20 Dumbreck Rd,
Glasgow, G41 5BW