Pride Month

It’s June which can only mean two things: a vague hope that the weather might be good and celebrating all things LGBT! However, Pride comes with a lot more than just slapping some rainbow flags on things and having a knees-up. If you are a parent or guardian it can also be a confusing time as your child starts their ‘Coming Out’ journey.

Your child might start using words that would score pretty highly in scrabble. They might start dressing differently or they might start bringing someone around that you are pretty sure is more than just a friend. There is so much to learn and trying to do the right thing without putting your foot in it can be a minefield. Here are some quick pointers to help you understand how to support your child’s journey out of the closet.

1. There is no rush

Some of us seem to know exactly who we are born to be, but for others, it involves trying on many hats to see what fits. Our gender and sexual identity is a personal journey of discovery and finding ourselves takes as long as it takes. Never rush your child to know exactly who they are and what they want. It’s okay to try many different things before finding the place we really belong. Just because your daughter held hands with a boy at 10 does not mean she can’t like girls now. Just because your son was once football-mad does not mean he can’t now love Ru Pauls drag race and have an unhealthy attraction to holographic materials, in fact, he can be those things and still love football. Give them time and support and let them figure themselves out.

2. Never force anyone out of the closet before they are ready

Some rush out of the closet at the first available opportunity, some come out to the world looking at their watch and wondering what took them so long. Again, it’s a personal journey. It may feel that the world and his wife knows that your child is not straight and you are just helping things along, but they need to figure it out for themselves. Forcing someone to come out before they are ready to can be a very damaging process because it takes away our right to be the one to decide who we are. Just let them know you love them no matter what and if they have anything they want to talk about you will be all ears.

3. It’s okay to be anxious

We live in a world that is not exactly friendly to those who are not white and heterosexual. It’s very common to have worries when your child comes out because you know that their lives might not always be easy, but remember who your anxiety is actually aimed at.